Hogwarts Antics
by CrimsonSleipnir
Summary: Funny fictions including the Trio, Draco myself and friends who raise hell on Hogwarts campus driving the Staff insane. Chapter 1 contains more detailed disclaimer. 3rd instalment posted. Rating changed for safety.
1. IntroLake of Jello

**Disclaimer**: These fictions have nothing to do with the main story line by J.K. Rowling. They are made to be random and amusing bits from a time at Hogwarts with the Trio, Staff as well as myself and some friends. Last names of my friends and I have been changed for the sake of their innocent selves (Not that they are innocent at all.). Enjoy.

**Background**: My friends and I, being the evil and trouble making hellions that we are, are running wild around the Hogwarts campus and the staff are more or less powerless to stop us. Then again, Dumbledore is usually amused by the harmless games, Snape is downright scared and McGonagall doesn't know what to think.

**Characters** (Who will show up eventually):

Irina Kaye- 7th year Slytherin Head Girl

Jason Faust- 7th year Hufflepuff Head Boy

Harry Potter-6th year Gryffindor

Ronald Weasley- 6th Year Gryffindor

Hermione Granger- 6th year Gryffindor

Melissa Moore- 6th year Slytherin

Draco Malfoy- 6th year Slytherin

Calvin Aromi- 6th year Ravenclaw

Amanda O'Rilley- 7th year Ravenclaw

Garrett Fourmite- 7th year Ravenclaw

Kevin Styles- 7th year Hufflepuff

* * *

There is a light rapping on the dungeon door of the school potions master. He lifts his head form his work and narrows his eyes. He calls for the knocker's entrance and the Deputy Headmistress steps in looking slightly concerned.

"Severus?" She speaks firmly.  
"Yes Minerva?" Snape responds somewhat coldly.  
"Do you realize the lake has been turned into Jello?"

Shape pauses and blinks. "What?"  
Minerva sighs and waves her hand. "Come and I'll show you."

Snape stands and follows her curiously up into her office where there is a perfect view of the lake. It is a bright lime green and seemed to be wiggling. The lake was indeed Jello. Snape looked to the Deputy Headmistress who sighed and shook her head.  
"This is your Head Girl's doing."  
"She isn't MY Head Girl. Albus selected her."  
"She is in YOUR house. Do something."  
"Haven't I lost enough nerves to her already? You try having her in your house for a week and see what she does to you let alone seven years of it! I am not talking to her. The last time I tried she called me 'Snapey-poo' and tried to pounce me." Severus stood firmly by his decision not to talk to the Head Girl. There was no doubt in either of their minds that this was her work, but that girl was insane.  
"She was high on sugar; she may not have had any yet."  
"And Jello is what exactly?" Snape asked critically eyeing Minerva.  
She arches her brows then sighs. Turning her head from him she glances back out at the lake. "Sugar."

"Right. So we never saw anything?" Snape pressed.  
"Nope." She agreed and they both went off their ways acting as if they didn't know that the giant squid was swimming in a lake of lime Jello.


	2. Sex Ed Class

"Malted Milk Balls." Minerva McGonagall stated, standing before the stone gargoyle that kept the Headmasters office hidden. The statue stepped aside and the Deputy Headmistress advanced up the stairs, at the top she knocked on the wooden door that now kept her from her final destination. After a few moments she entered and stood before Dumbledore looking rather perplexed. "Albus?"

Eyes sparkling he looked up and nodded, offering her a seat with a fluid wave of her arm. "Yes Minerva? Here, please sit."

She took the seat and there was another pause before Professor McGonagall spoke up again. "We need a sexual education class."

The Headmaster blinked. "What?"

"We need a sex ed class." She said again, sternly. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Minerva, that's not like you…"

"Yes well. Either we do it or we allow the Head Girl to continue the one she is currently running in the library. She has already taken all the fruit from the kitchens."

Again Dumbledore blinked in surprise, a curious brow rising. "Fruit? What for?"

McGonagall shook her head and sighed. "I really don't want to know. The house elves said she insisted on having the large pineapple rings and the strawberries. Her cohorts appropriated the rest."

A small smile pulled at the Headmaster's lips but he only nodded thoughtfully. "Hm. We should observe this."

"Albus!" the Deputy Headmistress snapped, glaring at him surprised at his response. "She's corrupting innocent minds!"

This time the smile could not be hidden as he spoke. "Minerva, I think she has already succeeded."

It was her turn to blink then she came upon the case the Headmaster was speaking of. "Oh yes… the jello incident."

"Yes. We may count ourselves lucky she locked the younger students in the library for the duration."

"Yes of course. If you don't count that she used up all the chocolate and they were acting like hyper bunnies as they hopped around the hallways."

"We are not counting that." Dumbledore said, shaking his head slightly.

"Yes well. Are you going to stop her?" She pushed, sitting a little straighter in her seat.

Dumbledore smiled. "Have I ever succeeded before?" Minerva sighed and shook her head. He followed suit with a thoughtful sigh of his own. "I do believe I would like to know what she does with the pineapple rings though..."

"ALBUS!"


	3. A RunIn with Peeves

The fourth year girls giggled and happily handed over the three galleons each in return for their customized claiming collars complete with nametags. Melissa slipped the gold into the bag then tapped it with her wand. It promptly disappeared. Kevin leaned against the wall and laughed softly to himself.

"Not a bad turn out. Think the Professors will do anything about it?" Melissa asked sorting the collars that were yet to be delivered, muttering off names and houses.

"Lissa dear, they couldn't if they wanted to." Kevin said casually, peering down the hall at the girls; currently exchanging the collars to see who the other was going to claim

"How do you know?" the Slytherin challenged, peering over her shoulder to see what he was looking at. "C'mon. Walk with me, talk with me." She nodded down the hall and slipped the remaining collars back into her robes. "Someone say something to you?"

"No not at all. I just know they won't bother." Hands in his pockets, the Hufflepuff followed the Slytherin down the hall. "They've never succeeded in stopping any of our endeavors before."

"Point taken. I'm a bit surprised at the turn out though. Only been offering these things for a day or so now and we've already got a dozen orders, including the one we just completed."

A loud scream caused both of them to pause then take off in the other direction towards the scream, robes billowing behind them and wands drawn. Rounding a corner and nearly sliding into one another they come across a comical scene that only succeeds in pissing them both off.

Peeves was taunting their once satisfied customers, one he was holding upside down by the ankle with one hand and examining the collar he stole from her in the other. Kevin darted foreword as Melissa hexed the poltergeist. The girl was caught safely in the Hufflepuff's arms and the collar was summoned back to the Slytherin who returned it to its owner. The girls then took off as Peeves wailed.

"Damn brat! Attacking Peeves like that! Just you wait I'll get you back! Telling everyone what you and the Head Boy do in the sack!"

The Slytherin scoffs. "You act like everyone doesn't already know. But Peeves, we do have something for you."

"A present for Peeves?"

"Mhmm." Melissa smiled and met the eyes of Kevin, now making his way back to her as Peeves swooped down. She tapped a yellow collar with her wand and offered it to him. "We have one for you too see? Here let me help you put it on…"

Kevin pulled his wand out this time and flicked it, securing the item around the poltergeists' neck. Peeves proceeded to turn every which way to read the tag but failed calling after the two as they walked away. "I can't see! Who gave it to me?"

The both began to walk a little faster and Kevil called back. "Moaning Myrtle!" they brisk walk turned into a run, their laughing and Peeves shriek echoing though the halls.


End file.
